My clingy new boyfriend: Grading

 Posted by on Sat, 12/17 at 9:52pm  reflection, remedy  No Responses »
Dec 172016
 

It started off as a joke, something to annoy my mother – “I’ve got a new boyfriend who takes up all my time and is the reason why I can’t sleep at night”. And then it was real. I thought I had it all figured out, but it just didn’t seem to end! Grading took up all my time. I couldn’t focus effectively on my other courses and that bothered me. I tried making schedules, and I struggled to maintain them, yet I fell behind on my grading. If I found myself being lazy or too lenient with my grading, I’d stop and start later when I was more aware.

I thought it was just me being impotent and unproductive but, after speaking with people in the office, I realized that the struggle to manage time well is very common. “You just have to push yourself to do it” is the best advice I received. So, I guess, the best thing to do is continue making schedules and just force myself to maintain and (hopefully) stick to them.

Falling Behind Vibes, and How I’m Chillin’ Anyway

 Posted by on Tue, 11/22 at 5:22pm  remedy  No Responses »
Nov 222016
 

In previous posts I mentioned how I keep falling behind on grading because of all the other jobs and responsibilities I have. Plus I am just super reflective, and that takes up time too. Plus eating. And making teas. And attempting to get enough sleep.

 

Anyway, I have still been having a super amount of anxiety attached to the fact that I could never get essays graded in the time-frame the rigid-ass pre-made syllabus has. I want to know who made this syllabus and how they have enough time to complete commenting and grading on essays in such a short time frame. Do they have time for sex? or for laughing? or for decompressing? I am thinking this person is a super workaholic. Well, I have finally let go of my extreme perfectionism and self-bashing tied to not being able to get things completed in a calendar schedule.

I am just giving back comments on essay 4. Yes, this is true. Boo-hoo. So obviously there is not time for students to complete an Essay 5 and 6, with my comments and then do a final draft. Therefore, I came up with an alternative solution (also thanks to Julia’s guidance). I created a final essay that will be more personal. It will be about a topic of their choosing, with no specific prompt. YAY! because we all know how we feel about those other pre-made prompts, or at least I do. Furthermore,  they must give me a 1-2 pages outline prior, and, I am including a creative presentation component, that still allows for students to meet the writing requirements. Some of these creative options include poetry and music. And I just thought of Zines as an option as well. They seemed to be happy about this and so am I. Especially because I have found an adequate solution to falling behind, that is actually (in my eyes), more beneficial to students.

Student circumstances and How to Deal

 Posted by on Tue, 11/22 at 5:01pm  remedy  No Responses »
Nov 222016
 

So we briefly touched on this issue of our student’s personal circumstances in colloquium. Many of us teachers may have been in situations where students fall behind because of personal situations, such as their loved one dying or having a sickness. There are also situations where students fall behind because of reasons they do not share, but are very active when in the classroom. I have had to deal with all of the situations I have just mentioned, and have found adequate remedies to these personal student circumstances.

Two students in two different classes were dealing with family members who were/are ill. These two students happen to be very intelligent and hard working. However, at some point in the beginning to the midpoint of the semester, they fell behind in their work. I made sure to reach out to them to find out what was going on, as I have/do with all of my students who are falling behind. These two students in particular were grateful that I reached out, and were more than willing to give me an explanation. I worked with them and let them turn in assignments at a later date, given their circumstances. One of these students was unable to turn in recent essays, so, I created an extended essay assignment that would be the equivalent of both; this includes an audio component (which the student is already familiar with). The other student who was falling behind, is now completely caught up, which is partly due to their hard effort and partly due to my flexibility and understanding of her personal situation.

However, I have one student who has been falling behind in some assignments, but is always in class and is always very engaged, unafraid to offer complex ideas and questions. He has been unresponsive to my emails, so I have had to confront him in class about his missing work. I know something is going on, he even told me, but he would not share the specifics. And I understand this and do not hold it against him. I also made an expanded essay for him (with an audio component), as an alternative to his missing work. Hopefully he will get this done. If not, the point is I gave him the opportunity.

I think as a teacher, one must be flexible and considerate of student circumstances, without automatically assuming a student is just lazy or incapable. One of the largest reasons I am a proponent of this consideration, is because I myself, as a student, have been faced with many personal hurdles, especially within my years in graduate school. If I would not have had understanding professors, I do not know how I would have been able to be as successful in my graduate career as I have been. So the message is, have empathy!

Iron Fist?

 Posted by on Sat, 11/19 at 4:05pm  remedy  No Responses »
Nov 192016
 

I have a student who seems to present me with more trouble than the rest combined. You know. That one. I entered class one day and he’s up at the whiteboard. “Teaching.” I stood there. I stared. Things were awkward and I was angry. I said nothing and he sat down and as I walked past he had the nerve to say “Can we just agree I’m basically the teacher’s assistant?” in front of everyone? “No.” I made no eye contact and my posture was rigid as I went up to the front. And I thought my tone made it clear that this wasn’t okay. That I found it incredibly disrespectful, even ignorant, of my walk uphill in the sand both ways. Even knowing it was that I felt slightly threatened and insulted because my position as a GTA is very, very new it played on repeat in my head. I’m still not sure if there’s a best way to react.

When he called himself the TA next time I shut it down. I told him that it was disrespectful and didn’t let him try to talk his way out of it in front of the rest of the class, nor after when he came to apologize. I gave my “you haven’t walked uphill in the snow both ways” bit. I don’t know what I should have said. The problem went away after that. He chilled out a bit after that, though I catch him parroting and wonder if saying anything about it would be reasonable or just me shutting him up because he’s annoying. And even trying to get him to just listen and relax is a struggle. He’s professed horrible ADHD and I know he’s on some sort of post-Vyvanse recovery ride; he was prescribed it but stopped taking it because of how it affected him and I empathize with him. And he wants to argue and talk and espouse common knowledge and I don’t want to tell him he isn’t saying anything anyone in the room hasn’t heard before, that the majority of the class wishes he’d shut it.

So? The interim fix? When he’s really there, really in class and having a good day, I’ll happily engage. I’ll guide not problematize his ideas–not that I see this as . I’ll answer truthfully when he asks if he can write something and say whether or not it’s an accomplishable goal in the parameters of the semester, even though I hate telling people to walk before they run and to run before they jump.

I Put Too Much Food On My Plate and Now I Can’t Finish My Dinner

 Posted by on Wed, 10/19 at 12:10pm  reflection, remedy  1 Response »
Oct 192016
 

Do you ever sign up for something and think I immediately regret this decision? Have you every done that to yourself constantly throughout a semester-long period?

I have signed myself up for so many things and scheduled them all so close together that I have no room to breath at all. This week alone I have all my conferences (which obviously involves grading all the essay twos that I put off until now), I have my academic literacy autobiography due on Friday, I have a conference that I have to present at in Gainesville at the end of the week (of course I have yet to write my paper for that), and on top of all this I have to read Derrida’s Of Grammatology at some point.

If you have found yourself in a similar situation and are looking for a quick and easy fix then I have the solution for you: love yourself.

Out of that entire list of issues, there is not one problem that I did not create. And the solution to these is much simpler than not applying to graduate school in the first place. I could have easily graded the essay twos ages ago, which would make my conferences so easy and probably even a little fun. I’ve known about this literacy journal for some time, and it is not a long and arduous assignment. I should have written my conference paper about a month ago. I suppose Derrida is just going to be Derrida, and that is unavoidable, but without the other issues it would probably be less stress.

Now that I lived through this horrible situation will I learn from my mistakes and grow as a person? No, probably not. Every procrastinator lives through this endless cycle of putting everything off but somehow pulling out of situation perfectly fine and thinking “I would rather deal with that paper later and have 30 more minutes to watch my stories now!” So this situation is inevitably going to reoccur, and when it does I will probably complain and blame the world for the problems I created once more, but the solution still remains the same: if you’re thinking of procrastinating, just don’t.

Hippie advice on remaining sane in the academy

 Posted by on Wed, 10/12 at 7:10pm  remedy  1 Response »
Oct 122016
 

I am aware that the word “hippie” and it’s concept is sometimes negative. Negative because some assume loving nature and wanting to abolish capitalism is pointless. Complacency and boxy rooms are apparently the “in” thing to do. But I am totally re-claiming hippie as a revolutionary awesome identity. Especially when combined with institutional obligations. It creates quite the brew of contradictions. Anyway, here is how I remain sane while being a GTA, intern, grad student, small (new) business creator, cat care-giver, and partner. These are my remedies to being overwhelmed as an English teacher and all the other stuff I am, learned through many semesters of struggle at FAU. Hopefully you get something positive out of it.

  1. Do Yoga or some form of meditation/relaxation in-between  moments of wanting to rip your hair out.
  2. Do not grade the bazillion papers before doing your grad paper/assignment. You need to graduate.
  3. Eat! Remember to eat (hopefully healthy-ish) in-between the hours of grading, writing, and classes. Your health is important and will help you continue on. Denying yourself of food for the sake of producing is a symptom of capitalist disease. 
  4. Rebel in some way. This is open to interpretation. But rebellion feels sooooo good. Even in a small way.
  5. Exist in nature and just be. Its up to you how long you want to do this for. Go to the ocean, park, forest, sit in the grass, touch a tree, moon gaze… anything that is outside is a change from being inside an artificially-aired, boxy room. 
  6. Drink tea. I know many academics are coffee drinkers, but non-caffeine tea is helpful in soothing nerves. Especially with herbs/barks like chamomile, lavender, sorrel, cinnamon.
  7. Essential oils! Use them, smell them, do aromatherapy. Very calming.

Okay so that is all I can think of right now, at least in terms of “appropriate” content. This may seem like yucky self-help stuff, but I actually just helped myself and realized that I do a lot to keep myself  “sane” , despite alllll the responsibilities of grading and teaching and etc that I have. Remedy accomplished.

 

audre-lorde-quote-self-care

 

Designing a Calm Jealousy in Classroom Discussion: Mood and Means of Production

 Posted by on Mon, 9/26 at 1:12pm  remedy  No Responses »
Sep 262016
 

Last week I finally had a moment where I felt like I was able to connect with my students on a different level.  Having early classes I find that most of my students are half asleep for most of the class period, even through group assignments and discussions.  Aside from having them stand up and move around between activities I wasn’t really sure how to get them to wake up and be present.  I obviously avoid the dreaded lecture as much as possible, but I also felt that sometimes discussions were not engaging for most of them either.  During said class period I decided to do a thesis exercise with the class that engaged them on something other than the college experience.  Asking them to collectively come up with a topic unrelated to any of our readings, but rather something that was engaging to them, I found that both classes came up with the same topic: Sleep.  I then placed them into groups and asked the groups to come up with a thesis statement, 3 main points, and personal evidence to support these main points about sleep.  This led to a very surprising amount of engagement on their part.  It was clear that this was a subject that they were able to engage with and thus they were able to think in terms other than writing an academic essay.  This was a great exercise because they were able to see how their ability to connect with the topic led to clearer arguments and points being made.  It was probably the first moment that I had where I felt like I actually connected and got through to my students.  It was surprising to me that both classes came up with the same topic and that they were both engaged in the discussion.  This has gotten the ball rolling for me with my students and I feel like it opened the door for both of us to engage on a different, more productive level that wasn’t available prior to this exercise.  While the thoughts that led to this activity were my own, I found a useful website that suggests similar approaches to his problem:

http://www.edutopia.org/classroom-student-participation-tips

This website has a list of “10 smart ways to increase classroom participation”  one of which I mentioned earlier in this post: Physical activity.  When breaking students into groups for activities I have been asking students to get up and organize themselves in a line based on some ice-breaker type topic (birthday, first letter of last name, etc.), this has helped to get them moving and also breaks down some of the communication barriers between them.  I feel that both of these elements have helped to increase classroom participation and thus I feel that this “problem” in my classroom has lessened to some extent.

Chaotic Moments Followed By Calm

 Posted by on Wed, 9/21 at 2:13pm  remedy  No Responses »
Sep 212016
 

     The 1st peer review I did with my classes was kind of a mess. I was not fully sure of how to “do” the peer reviews. I received some clarification from Prof. Mason and Jonathan’s suggestions at one of our colloquium meetings, and thought I would be able to carry the peer reviews out successfully.  However, I ended up being disorganized when giving everyone someone else’s paper, especially since I did not write down who was peer reviewing who. I realized later on that it would be more complicated for each student to share their comments with the person they peer reviewed, especially since not everyone remembered who it was they peer reviewed after they handed the assignment to me. Just writing about it begins to confuse me.

    The second time around I am doing it differently. I have already begun the peer reviews. I typed who would be peer reviewing who and began this assignment/workshop in class, rather than outside of class. This has already made everything so much easier. I also went over sample work before having them do peer reviews, that way they have an idea of what they should be looking for and how they should be commenting.

 

From this situation I have learned that eventually I will learn… if that makes sense.