I found an article by Dr. Crystal Fleming, a bi woman of color sociologist & teacher, who shares her experience on coming out as Bi in the academy, after finally deciding not to be silent or ashamed about her sexual orientation. The link to the article is here:
https://conditionallyaccepted.com/2014/02/13/openly-bisexual/
Also, here is her personal blog: https://awareofawareness.com/about/
Crystal shares a short story about how she came out in her classroom, to her students, which was related to discussing the concept of “stigma”: “In discussing Erving Goffman’s understanding of stigma as a “discrediting” attribute, I told the story of how my 90-year-old godmother responded when I told her I date men and women. “I’m so, so sorry to hear that,” she replied, as though I’d been diagnosed with the plague.”
After class, one of her students thanked her for coming out to the class, because this student believed that it is important for people in positions of authority to help reduce stigma. This specific thought of teachers being in positions of authority, therefore having the power to bring attention to stigma, makes me think a little deeper about not coming out as Bi at all in my classrooms. Especially because Crystal also talks about how in some ways, not acknowledging bisexuality is gaining from heterosexual privilege, since many people assumed she was hetero. I’m sure many people may assume the same about me.
Crystal goes through her academic journey of coming out to colleagues. It was very difficult for her at first, because she did not know of one bisexual colleague, only hetero, gay, and lesbian colleagues. However, even though she did not know openly bi professors, she “made a conscious decision to connect with queer women of color. Just knowing having other women within the profession to talk to about my concerns made all the difference” (Fleming). She also wrote more about her bi struggles in her blog, and became more confident and assertive in stating her bi identity to colleagues. She became an openly bisexual academic.
Many hetero people do not realize what a privilege they have in their sexual orientation, because “the truth is that in academia, just as in other professions, straight colleagues often talk about their private lives publicly, signaling their sexuality in a matter-of-fact-way that people rarely question” (Fleming). One of my favorite insights she gave, on bi experience, was making peace with “not giving a flying fuck what folks think about my orientation, inside or outside of academia,” which made it “much easier for me to be unassumingly and unapologetically open at appropriate times within professional settings” (Fleming).
I really want to work on taking her advice, and not giving a fuck. Its just so hard! Especially in the classroom. But I do wonder if I did come out, maybe in a small way, like in a theoretical kind of convo, if that would help other students who may be Bi. Or just help dissipate ignorance about Bisexuality. I also really hate the idea that I could be gaining from hetero privilege because people are assuming I am hetero by default. I mean, how can someone tell someone is Bi?? I think I have a Bi-dar (like Gay-dar), but everyone does not have this skill.
To Bypass Bi or not, that is the question.