So, I’ve been having these discussions with my Dad lately about Feminism, and while he’s one of the most empowering and supporting people in my life, he doesn’t consider himself a feminist, and he’s half surprised, half amused I consider myself one. He’s explained to me that men and women aren’t equal – in fact, no two people are equal. And that’s true. Everyone is born with different intellectual, physical, spiritual, and emotional abilities. When I told him why is it fair that father’s have to tell their daughters to “be safe,” while they can tell their sons to “have fun,” he replied it’s because fathers want their daughters to go out and do the things boys can do, but they have to realize they have some physical disadvantages should it come down to a fight. And this is true too. My father respects me and loves me for being who I am, which happens to include my being female – not in spite of it, not for it, but regardless of it. Yet it baffles me why he’s so anti-feminist, because he’s created my notion of feminism as I know it.
And it’s because of the Feminazis. Women who slam men, who slam each other, who use the cause as a means to propagate hate and criticism and division instead of love and acceptance and unity. Women who will never be comfortable with letting “women’s issues” become simply “issues” as the gap of equality closes; women who are too insecure about their gender to never stop reminding people of it. These women are taking over the ideology and ousting others, true feminists, out – women who form anti-feminist groups, who are probably the truer feminists then the ones who claim the title.
When I was doing mass research for the first paper, I discovered something I wrote:
“I’m torn about whether or not to keep the label Feminism. I am so grateful to all those that have come before me and have fought tooth and nail for the rights I have today. But at the same time, I don’t want to tarnish it’s good name, and based on the path we’re moving on, with angry men and women from all sides pulling on it like a childhood toy, it’s going to be ripped to shreds.
“There’s a practice in Literature where certain schools of thought, for instance, Formalism, give birth to new schools of thought. And because these new schools of thought are so much so tailored to the specific time period and encompass/improve prior theories and practice, they retire the old title and operate under the newer paradigm, even though Formalism is evident within it.
“I think that just might be what feminism needs – a “facelift” if you will. I’m not sure what we should call it. I personally like humanism, or genderism, if you want to keep it specific. Let’s create another ism that’s actually positive! I know we can do it.”
But now I am putting my foot down.
I am NOT going to let people appropriate this word, whose literal definition is: “the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes.” I am not going to concede, to let our ancestors’ hard work go to waste as women and men alike turn the word into an insult with their actions.
And when I told my Dad that’s why I identify as a feminist, he accepted it.
There needs to be change in the feminist community. I’m not daft enough to believe I’m the one who should lead it. But I think a lot of people who recognize the need for change are the ones who realize how hard it is to achieve change against such antagonistic forces.
Feminism is still a fractilized ideology – there are still so many sub-categories pertaining to different beliefs and opinions. But we should not retire this word for another one, like “equalism.” We can be both an equalist and a feminist without fear of being redundant. Feminism has done so much good, and it has the potential to do so much more.
I don’t want to come off as proud or haughty for pinning the feminist label to my shirt. I think that’s what went wrong in the first place. What I want is for men and women alike to reclaim that pride – those who have seen it going downhill have abandoned it. We need to reclaim it and redirect it. I’d like to hope it’s not a runaway train that can’t be stopped.
But I guess only time will tell.