You View (You Attitude)

READER-CENTERED WRITING

You View (or) You Attitude

Employing ‘you-attitude’ or the ‘you-view’ means approaching things from the reader’s point of view. In general, it

• Looks at things from the reader’s point of view
  • in positive or neutral situations, employs second-person (“you”) strategically adopting the reader’s point of view
  • in negative situations, employs passive voice, impersonal construction, or other indirect style to shift responsibility away from the reader
• Emphasizes what the reader wants to know and potential benefits to the reader
• Focuses on the positive and uses positive language
• Protects the reader’s ego by being indirect and/or shifting blame away from the reader in “negative” situations (often by using passive voice or impersonal construction).

Techniques

Shift pronouns: I ⇒ You

In positive/neutral situations, instead of writing in first person, write in second person. Shift “I” or “we” to “you.” Referring to yourself instead of the reader suggests you’re more concerned with yourself than with your audience and their wants/needs. Use “we” or “us” only if it includes the reader or makes the reader feel included.

Instead of:	Revise to:
I will provide lots of resources.	You will learn about resources to improve your writing.
I will teach a variety of writing techniques this semester.	We will practice writing techniques that will help you communicate more effectively in your professional careers.
We need accurate client contact information, so please fill out and return this contact form as soon as possible.	To ensure you continue to receive personalized services, please fill out and return this contact form as soon as possible.
The first sentences focus on what the writer is doing. The second sentences focus on what the reader will receive.

Instead of:	Revise to:
I am planning a party to celebrate FAU’s victory over Miami.	Join us to celebrate FAU’s victory over Miami.
The first sentence focuses on the writer. The second sentence makes the reader feel included.

You don’t have to eliminate all first-person pronouns in your writing—but you should deemphasize them when appropriate. Instead, see if you can emphasize second person pronouns in order to make your writing more reader-centered.

We/I ⇒ You (Focus on reader benefits)

Emphasize what the reader receives; not on what you (the writer) have done.

Instead of:	Revise to:
We have spent over six months revising our Audio Visual Services website.	You will find our streamlined reservation service and up-to-date equipment information on our revised Audio Visual Services website.

Emphasize what the reader receives; not on what you need.

Instead of:	Revise to:
We need up-to-date contact information for all of our clients, so please fill out and return this contact info card.	To ensure you continue to receive personalized services, please fill out and return this contact info card.

Use caution with feelings (yours and theirs)

Unless you’re writing a note of congratulations or condolence, or some other rare situation where feelings are appropriate, avoid telling the reader how you feel and avoid telling the reader how she or he should feel.

Instead of:	Revise to:
I am happy to grant you a two-day extension on your project.	You may take an additional two days to submit your project.
You will be happy to know I’m granting you a two-day extension on your project

Instead of:	Revise to:
I am happy to inform you that we’ve approved your credit application!	Your credit application is approved.
You’ll be happy to learn we’ve approved your credit application!
The first red sentences in each set seem insincere and AND focuses on the writer. The second red sentences assume what the reader is feeling and still focuses on the writer (what “we’ve” done). The green sentences simply convey the information without feelings AND puts the focus on the reader (“your… application”).

Instead of:	Revise to:
I am pleased to issue you a $2,000 line of credit.	You have a $2,000 line of credit.
You’ll be pleased to learn you now have a $2,000 line of credit.
Unless you’re congratulating someone on a promotion, new job, or something similar, don’t assume your reader is “happy” or “pleased” about something.

Instead of:	Revise to:
We’re glad to offer a 10% discount on your next order.	You get a 10% discount on your next order.
We regret to inform you that we cannot accept your application.	We cannot accept your application.
	The application cannot be accepted.

Anticipate reader needs/Wants (what does the reader want to know?)

Consider what the audience wants to know and provide those details.

Instead of:	Revise to:
I graded your project.	You earned a A- on your project. (good news)
Your project has been graded.	Your project received a D+. (bad news)
We’ve shipped your order.	Your order should arrive on Wednesday.

Avoid “you” in negative situations when it singles out the reader

Instead, focus on group to which reader belongs.

Instead of:	Revise to:
I must approve your project proposal.	Students’ project proposals must be approved.
You must get approval for your project proposal.

Avoid “you” in negative situations when it criticizes the reader

Instead, use a passive verb construction or an impersonal construction to avoid assigning blame.

Instead of:	Revise to:
You failed to turn in your project.	Your project has not been turned in. (passive voice)
	Your project is late. (impersonal construction)

Strategic Passive Construction

In negative situations, you should use passive construction to deemphasize the reader’s responsibility and avoid blaming the reader.

In negative situations, you can also use passive construction to deemphasize the writer’s (your) responsibility for some unwanted action.