{"id":631,"date":"2016-09-21T00:44:55","date_gmt":"2016-09-21T04:44:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/techrhet.com\/3213\/?page_id=631"},"modified":"2016-09-22T11:51:38","modified_gmt":"2016-09-22T15:51:38","slug":"conciseness-strategies-6-10","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/techrhet.com\/3213\/conciseness-strategies-6-10\/","title":{"rendered":"Conciseness: Strategies 6-10"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/a>conciseness strategies: nouning<\/a> | action\/active verbs<\/a> | obviousness<\/a> | repetition & redundance<\/a> | simplicity<\/a> | more<\/a> | sample sentences<\/a><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
CONCISENESS STRATEGY #6<\/div>\n
\n
Avoid Nouning<\/div>\n
use verbs<\/em>; not nouns<\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

To write clearer, more concise sentences, when possible, use verbs instead of nouns.<\/p>\n

In other words, avoid “nouning” (sometimes called verbal nouns<\/em>, gerunds<\/em>, nominalizations<\/em>).<\/p>\n

Helen Sword calls them “Zombie Nouns” in a piece for the New York Times:<\/a><\/p>\n

Take an adjective (implacable<\/em>) or a verb (calibrate<\/em>) or even another noun (crony<\/em>) and add a suffix like ity<\/em>, tion<\/em> or ism<\/em>. You\u2019ve created a new noun: implacability<\/em>, calibration<\/em>, cronyism<\/em>. Sounds impressive, right? Nouns formed from other parts of speech are called nominalizations. Academics love them; so do lawyers, bureaucrats and business writers. I call them \u201czombie nouns\u201d because they cannibalize active verbs, suck the lifeblood from adjectives and substitute abstract entities for human beings:<\/p>\n

The proliferation<\/em> of nominalizations<\/em> in a discursive formation<\/em> may be an indication<\/em> of a tendency<\/em> toward pomposity<\/em> and abstraction<\/em>.<\/p>\n

The sentence above contains no fewer than seven nominalizations, each formed from a verb or an adjective. Yet it fails to tell us who<\/em> is doing what<\/em>. When we eliminate or reanimate most of the zombie nouns (tendency<\/em> becomes tend<\/em>, abstraction<\/em> becomes abstract<\/em>) and add a human subject and some active verbs, the sentence springs back to life:<\/p>\n

Writers who overload their sentences with nominalizations tend to sound pompous and abstract.<\/p>\n

Only one zombie noun \u2013 the key word nominalizations<\/em> \u2013 has been allowed to remain standing.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Business writing should<\/em> be clear and concise, but nouning usually obscures meaning by converting verbs into nouns with the addition of suffixes like: -ant,-ent, -ion, -tion, -sion, -ence, -ance, and ing. Instead of hiding meaning within the phrase \u201cthrough the consolidation of,\u201d(who or what is doing the consolidation?) consider whether to use the verb forms \u201cconsolidated\u201d or \u201cconsolidating.\u201d Similarly, instead of \u201cthe inclusion of,\u201d consider using \u201cincluding,\u201d to make the sentence clearer, more active, and vigorous.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
WORDY<\/td>\nCONCISE<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Sam did research<\/strong> on the issue last year.<\/td>\nSam researched the issue last year.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The function of<\/strong> this department is the collection of <\/strong>accounts.<\/td>\nThis department collects accounts.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The current focus of <\/strong>the medical profession is disease prevention.<\/td>\nThe medical profession currently focuses on disease prevention.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
You must perform an assessment <\/strong>of the policy.<\/td>\nYou must assess the policy.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I will give<\/strong> the manger a briefing.<\/td>\nI will brief the new manager.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
They made<\/strong> a visit to the main office and had<\/strong> a meeting with the manger.<\/td>\nThey visited the main office and met with the manager.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
We must conduct an investigation<\/strong> of all parking violations before we can give consideration<\/strong> to your fine.<\/td>\nWe must investigate all parking violations before we can consider your fine.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2b06<\/a><\/span><\/div>\n
\n
CONCISENESS STRATEGY #7<\/div>\n
\n
Use Action\/Active Verbs<\/div>\n
subject does<\/em>; not subject is<\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Verbs tell what a person is or does. Don’t turn “does” action verbs into “is” be-verbs: be, being, been, am, is, was<\/em>, and were.<\/em> Action verbs energize a sentence without adding clutter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
WORDY<\/td>\nCONCISE<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Jones is opposed to the procedure.<\/td>\nJones opposes the procedure.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
We are in agreement.<\/td>\nWe agree.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Our decision is dependent on accurate info.<\/strong><\/td>\nOur decision depends on accurate info.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2b06<\/a><\/span><\/div>\n
\n
CONCISENESS STRATEGY #8<\/div>\n
\n
Avoid Explaining the Obvious and Excess Detail<\/div>\n
Sentences with obvious detail are wordy and insulting.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Sentences with obvious detail are wordy and insulting. Notice how this 15-word sentence can be cut to a clearer sentence of just 4 words:<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
I will be graduating at the end of the fall semester of the year 2018.<\/span> (15 words)<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I will be<\/span> graduating<\/span><\/span><\/td>\nat the end<\/span><\/span><\/td>\nof the<\/span> fall semester<\/span><\/span><\/td>\nof the year<\/span> 2018<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
delete future tense since “graduate” is a future action<\/em><\/td>\nno one graduates at the start of a semester<\/em><\/td>\nwe know fall is a “semester”<\/em><\/td>\nwe know 2018 is a “year”<\/em><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
I graduate fall 2018.<\/span> (4 words)<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

If you find phrases and sentences that explain what is obvious to the reader, delete or reword them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
WORDY<\/td>\nCONCISE<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
As I just mentioned<\/strong>, Barklay’s carries eight kinds of cooking oils.<\/td>\n(delete. as you said, you just mentioned this info)<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
She gave me a warm and friendly <\/strong>smile.<\/td>\nShe gave me a friendly smile.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
She smiled warmly at me.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Please feel free<\/strong> to call us.<\/td>\nPlease call us.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2b06<\/a><\/span><\/div>\n
\n
CONCISENESS STRATEGY #9<\/div>\n
\n
Avoid Repetition (and Redundance!)<\/div>\n
Writing is redundant when it repeats or presents no useful info.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
Look at these examples:<\/div>\n
He shrugged his shoulders<\/u><\/strong> (you can only “shrug” shoulders)<\/div>\n
The mayor sent me a free complementary <\/u><\/strong>ticket. (both mean “free”)<\/div>\n
The vase dropped down<\/u><\/strong>. (“drop” means downward \u2013 you can’t drop “up”)<\/div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
WORDY<\/td>\nCONCISE<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Please send your findings and conclusions<\/strong> by Friday.<\/td>\nPlease send your findings by Friday. (“findings” and “conclusions” mean the same thing)<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The supervisor must approve the revised changes.<\/strong><\/td>\nThe supervisor must approve the revisions.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The supervisor must approve the changes. (“revised” means changes.)<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
During that time period, <\/strong>many car<\/strong> buyers preferred cars that were<\/strong> pink in color<\/strong> and shiny in appearance.<\/strong><\/td>\nDuring that period, many car buyers preferred pink, shiny cars.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The microscope revealed a group of organisms that were <\/strong>round in shape<\/strong> and peculiar in nature.<\/strong><\/td>\nThe microscope revealed a group of peculiar, round organisms.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n
Redundant Pairs<\/h5>\n
\n
PLEONASM [pl\u0113\u2032\u0259-n\u0103z\u2032\u0259m]<\/div>\n

Pleonasm<\/strong> (from Greek pleon <\/em>meaning “more, too much”) is the use of more words or parts of words than is necessary for clear expression: examples are black darkness, or burning fire, or A malignant cancer is a pleonasm for a neoplasm. (Wikipedia<\/a>)<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Many pairs of words imply each other. Finish<\/em> implies complete<\/em>, so the phrase completely finish<\/em> is redundant in most cases. So are many other pairs of words<\/a>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
past memories<\/td>\nadvanced planning<\/td>\nvarious differences<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
final outcome<\/td>\ntrue facts<\/td>\nterrible tragedy<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
free gift<\/td>\npast history<\/td>\nunexpected surprise<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
sudden crisis<\/td>\ncollect together<\/td>\npersonal opinion<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
contributing factor<\/td>\nperfectly clear<\/td>\nabsolutely essential<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
basic fundamentals<\/td>\nend result<\/td>\njoint cooperation<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
completely eliminate<\/td>\nexact same<\/td>\nadvance notice<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n
Redundant Categories <\/h5>\n

Specific words imply their general categories, so we usually don’t have to state both. We know that a period is a segment of time, that pink is a color, that shiny is an appearance. In each of the following phrases, the general category term can be dropped, leaving just the specific descriptive word:<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n
large in size<\/td>\noften times<\/td>\nof a bright color<\/td>\nin a confused state<\/td>\nheavy in weight<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
period in time<\/td>\nround in shape<\/td>\nat an early time<\/td>\nextreme in degree<\/td>\nunusual in nature<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
many in number<\/td>\nof cheap quality<\/td>\nhonest in character<\/td>\nat a late hour<\/td>\nof uncertain condition<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2b06<\/a><\/span><\/div>\n
\n
CONCISENESS STRATEGY #10<\/div>\n
\n
Write Simple One-Word Verbs (When Possible)<\/div>\n
write in the present tense (avoiding will<\/em> and would<\/em>); avoid participles and modals if you can express yourself in simple tense<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
WORDY<\/td>\nCONCISE<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
When I was a child, I would go<\/strong> to the movies with my brother every Tuesday<\/td>\nI went<\/u><\/strong> to the movies with my brother every Tuesday.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
A good writer should choose <\/strong>words carefully.<\/td>\nA good writer chooses<\/u><\/strong> words carefully.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Effective writers must be<\/strong> polite. They will try to return messages quickly.<\/td>\nEffective writers are<\/strong><\/u> polite. They return<\/strong><\/u> messages quickly.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n
\u2b06<\/a><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Read More on Conciseness in Professional Writing<\/h5>\n

Wordiness & Redundancy<\/a>, from David McMurrey, Professor and Coordinator of the Business & Technical Communications Program at Austin Community College
\nat ACC.<\/p>\n

\u2b06<\/a><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

Sample Sentence Revisions for Conciseness<\/h5>\n

EX1. Some sort of identification that would prove I was an FAU student was requested of me by the woman who sells tickets to exhibitions at the Ritter Art Gallery.<\/p>\n

\n
REVISION<\/div>\n
The Ritter Art Gallery clerk asked to see my FAU student ID.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

EX2. There is no one who is better qualified to lead the project than you.<\/p>\n

\n
REVISION<\/div>\n
You are best qualified to lead the project.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

EX3. Our office lunch order was called in by Annie Smith who is our company\u2019s on-site qualified specialist in nutrition.<\/p>\n

\n
REVISION<\/div>\n
\n
Annie Smith, our company’s nutritionist, called in our lunch order.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

EX4. Many factors are considerations in my decision to assign extra homework that students are required to complete outside of class.<\/p>\n

\n
REVISION<\/div>\n
I consider many factors before assigning extra homework.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

EX5. We provide assistance to high school senior students in the process of reaching a decision about where to submit applications for admission to various post-secondary institutions..<\/p>\n

\n
REVISION<\/div>\n
\n
We help seniors decide where to submit college applications.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\u2b06<\/a><\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
Portions of this course material are adapted from and supplemented with materials licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 3.0<\/a> and materials available under 1996 Fair Use Guidelines for Educational Multimedia courtesy of Andy Schmitz’s Creative Commons Book Archive and the University of Hawai’i.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

conciseness strategies: nouning | action\/active verbs | obviousness | repetition & redundance | simplicity | more | sample sentences CONCISENESS STRATEGY #6 Avoid Nouning use verbs; not nouns To write clearer, more concise sentences, when possible, use verbs instead of nouns. In other words, avoid “nouning” (sometimes called verbal nouns, gerunds, nominalizations). Helen Sword calls […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"no-sidebars.php","meta":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/techrhet.com\/3213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/631"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/techrhet.com\/3213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/techrhet.com\/3213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/techrhet.com\/3213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/techrhet.com\/3213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=631"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/techrhet.com\/3213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/631\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2520,"href":"https:\/\/techrhet.com\/3213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/631\/revisions\/2520"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/techrhet.com\/3213\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=631"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}