ask yourself… (reader-centered writing)

a) Is what the sentence communicates positive? Might the reader see it as praise or feel good about themselves based on what’s in the sentence?

If yes, then you might need to emphasize the reader’s role in the sentence—maybe by putting “You” at the beginning of the sentence or more closely associating “you” with the positive information.

If yes, the sentence should likely be in active voice. (subject –> verb |  Bob won)

b) Is what this sentence communicates neutral, expected, and/or likely to be received with ambivalence?

If yes, does the sentence tell the reader what they might want (or need) to know?

If no, can you make that info up (within reason, to fill in missing info) and put it in the sentence?

c) Is what this sentence communicates negative information, bad news, unexpected, and/or annoying?

If yes…Is the negative information important?

If no—if the negative information is not important to the meaning of the sentence—then consider omitting that information.

If yes—the negative information is important to the sentence—might that negative information feel critical to the reader? Or, put another way, might the reader feel like they’re  being criticized or they’re at fault? (Or in some cases, are they at fault?)

If yes, then you might need to de-emphasize the reader’s responsibility for the negative thing in the sentence (possibly using passive or impersonal construction; possibly by referring to a group to which the reader belongs).

(and/or) If yes, you might need to de-emphasize the negative thing (possibly by finding more neutral phrasing or otherwise softening unnecessarily negative phrasing)

d) Is the sentence asking the reader to do something?

If yes…

First, is there some benefit to the reader? Is there something the reader wants or something positive in it for them?

If yes, consider frontloading the benefit before making the request (or telling them what they need to do).

Second, does the sentence suggest the writer needs something from the reader—something that may feel unnecessary, annoying, or invasive? (something the writer needs that might make the reader say “why do you need that from me?”)

If yes, you may need to suggest that you (the writer, or you/writer on behalf of your organization) isn’t singling out the reader. Instead, you might need to shift the sentence to be about the group to which the reader belongs.

(and/or) If yes, you may need to include the rationale or benefit to the reader for doing the thing you’re asking for.