Introduction / Overview

Unlike some other kinds of writing such as poetry or fiction, business writing is not an opportunity for self-expression. Instead it calls for a fairly conservative and unadorned style. Writing style, also known as voice or tone, is the manner in which a writer addresses the reader. It involves qualities of writing such as word choice (vocabulary and diction); grammar and syntax; sentence length, structure, and order (cohesion); and paragraph length, organization, and arrangement (coherence).

There was a time when many business documents were written in third person to give them the impression of objectivity. This formal style was often passive, wordy, and loaded with empty phrases and unnecessarily complex words, perhaps to give them the impression of authority. Today, good business writing is clear, concise, correct, and courteous. Business writers aim for a readable, conversational style using plain English and active verbs.

During the semester, this course material will present various strategies to improve the readability and clarity of your professional writing, loosely organized around achieving those objectives — clarity, concision, correctness, and courteousness. You’ve already read about courteousness (you-atttitude, reader-centered writing, courteous genre conventions, etc.), and in the future, you’ll read about clarity and correctness.

Today, it’s all about being concise.

Conciseness

Conciseness means getting rid of every word that serves no function. Concise writing:

• gets to the point,
• avoids unnecessary repetition and wordy expressions,
• Includes only relevant facts (with courtesy), and
• uses everyday, conversational speech.

A concise message saves time and expense for both sender and receiver. Avoiding wordiness means using the fewest number of words possible to express your ideas. The benefits of being concise are

• the reader can see your main ideas easily the first time,
• your main points stand out, and
• it saves time, effort, and money.

Conciseness in professional writing style doesn’t mean simply reducing the number of words or making a document shorter. It means eliminating unnecessary words. Words are unnecessary if they don’t contribute to your meaning, appeal to your audience (using a reader-centered approach), or help you accomplish your purpose.

You’ll have to make conscious decisions about which words, details, and ideas are necessary (useful, beneficial, and rhetorical) and which are unnecessary (canned, counterproductive, and careless). Consider the sentences below.

If you bought tickets to an event, what would you want to know? Which sentence would you prefer? Although the first sentence is shorter, the second includes information the reader is likely to want.

For that reason, while this course material will focus on guidelines for concise writing, it’s your responsibility to decide whether individual sentences break and “rules,” whether information is important to the audience and your purpose, and ultimately, whether or not to revise to make those sentences more concise.

Be meticulous. Examine every word and phrase, and make conscious rhetorical decisions about writing, revision, and editing.

5 Conciseness Strategies:

Writers sometimes clog up their prose with one or more extra words or phrases that seem to determine narrowly or to modify the meaning of a noun but don’t actually add to the meaning of the sentence. Although such words and phrases can be meaningful in the appropriate context, they are often used as “filler” and can easily be eliminated.

Avoid these common fillers: kind of, sort of, type of, really, basically, definitely, actually, generally…

Circumlocution is using a phrase to convey meaning that could be presented in a single word.  They are often roundabout expressions that take several words to say what could be said more succinctly. We often overlook them because many such expressions are habitual figures of speech. In writing, though, they should be avoided since they add extra words without extra meaning. Of course, occasionally you may for rhetorical effect decide to use, say, an expletive construction instead of a more succinct expression.

In general and when possible, to avoid wordiness, convert phrases into single words.

• in close proximity = near
• despite the fact that = although
• outside the realm of possibility = impossible
• at this point in time = now
• in accordance with your request = as you requested
• is contingent upon = depends
• subsequent to = after
• aware of the fact = know

Effective business writing avoids bureaucratic language and phrases that are the hallmark of decoration. Decoration is a reflection of ritual, and ritual has its role. If you are the student body president and want to make a resolution declaring October 15th “FAU Founder’s Day” in honor of Tom Fleming, you might the declaration with “Whereas” because of the document’s ritual importance. Similarly, if you are writing a legal document, tradition calls for certain standard phrases such as “know all men by these presents.”

However, in standard business writing, it is best to refrain from using bureaucratic phrases and ritualistic words that decorate and distract the reader from your clear, essential meaning. If the customer, client, or supplier does not understand the message the first time, each follow-up attempt to clarify costs time, money, and effort.

Avoid weak sentence starters it + be-verb (it is, it was) and there + be-verb (there is, there was, there were.) In most cases, you can create a more concise sentence by replacing weak sentence starters with the subject of the sentence.

Sometimes there is/there are can be effective for emphasis in some situations, but don’t overuse them. Take the following example: “It is imperative that we find a solution.” The same meaning could be expressed with this more succinct wording: “We must find a solution.” But using the expletive construction allows the writer to emphasize the urgency of the situation by placing the word imperative near the beginning of the sentence, so the version with the expletive may be preferable.

In negative situations or contexts where you need to demphasize responsibility or otherwise employ a reader-centered approach to communication, use passive voice. In positive or neutral situations, generally, you should aim to write in active voice.

In the active voice, the subject of the sentence acts upon something or someone. In the passive voice, the subject is acted upon. Active voice is more direct, easier to understand, and more concise. For more information, see Purdue University’s Active and Passive Voice handout.

Usually, active voice is more engaging.Which sentence sounds better to you?

1. All sales orders are processed daily by Mackenzie.
2. Mackenzie processes all sales orders daily.

Most readers prefer sentence B, but why? You’ll recall that all sentences have a subject and a verb, but you may not have paid much attention to their functions. Let’s look at how the subject and verb function in these two sentences. In sentence A, the subject is “Mackenzie,” and the subject is the doer of the action expressed by the verb (processes). In sentence A, the subject is “sales orders,” and the subject is the receiver of the action expressed by the verb (are processed). Sentence A is written in active voice—a sentence structure in which the subject carries out the action. Sentence B is written in passive voice—a sentence structure in which the subject receives the action.

Active sentences tend to be shorter, more precise, and easier to understand. This is especially true because passive sentences can be written in ways that do not tell the reader who the doer of the action is. For example, “All sales orders are processed daily” is a complete and correct sentence in passive voice.

Active voice is the clear choice for a variety of contexts, but not all. When you want to deemphasize the doer of the action, you may write, “Ten late arrivals were recorded this month” and not even mention who was late. The passive form doesn’t place blame or credit, so it can be more diplomatic in some contexts. Passive voice allows the writer to avoid personal references or personal pronouns (he, she, they) to create a more objective tone. There are also situations where the doer of the action is unknown, as in “graffiti was painted on the side of our building last night.”

Business communication resources tend to recommend active voice as the preferred style. Still, the styles themselves are not the problem or challenge, but it is how we use them that matters. A skilled business writer will see both styles as options within a range of choices and learn to distinguish when each style is most appropriate to facilitate communication.