Writing Effective Subject Lines
15 Tips For Writing An Excellent Email Subject Line, from Business Insider
18 tips for writing an excellent subject line so your email gets read, from Business Insider
Write a meaningful subject line, from Dennis Jerz’s Literacy Weblog
Since emails arrive in recipients’ inboxes with the sender’s name, there’s no need to put your name in the email subject line (it’s redundant).
Since memos include the sender’s name in the “From” area, there’s no need to put your name in the memo subject line.
Since letters are signed at the bottom, there’s no need to put your name in the letter subject line.
Don’t write Please Reply, Please Respond, or Please Read in your subject line.
You should assume the recipient will read your message… as long as you’ve provided a subject line that indicates you’re asking for info, requesting some action, etc.
Instead of Please Reply, consider Info Needed for [whatever]. Instead of Please Respond, consider Request Total Cost of [whatever], etc.
While we usually associate subject lines with emails, subject lines are required for memos and are often included in letters1. While most of the content below refers to email subject lines, almost all of the guidelines apply to memo and letter subject lines, too.
Subject lines are particularly important because of how audiences use them. Often, an audience member will decide to read, or not read, a document based on its subject line alone. If the subject line doesn’t appeal to the reader, she or he may assume the content of the message doesn’t apply to them (or isn’t important to them).
Why Are Subject Lines Important?
Do you open every single email you receive? Probably not. Most of us ignore or immediately delete emails that we aren’t interested in or don’t feel compelled to open.
When you write emails, you probably want something to happen as a result of your email.
- If you email to your boss to inform him you worked overtime last week, you want your boss to pay you for the overtime hours you worked.
- If you email your professor asking to clarify what format she wants the assignment in, you want your professor to respond and let you know the required assignment format.
- If you email your Mom and ask her for her famous chocolate chip cookie recipe, you want her to send you the recipe.
- If you email Amazon customer service to let them know you received dog food instead of the cat food you ordered, you want them to correct the error and send you the cat food you ordered.
But before ANY of those things can happen, the reader has to open your email.
In many cases, readers aren’t obligated to open your emails, and you can’t assume they’ll open all the emails they receive (regardless of sender and subject line).
To even have a chance of getting paid overtime, clarification about the assignment format, your Mom’s cookie recipe, or the cat food you ordered from Amazon, you have to write a subject line that will prompt the reader to open the message. Phrased a different way—you want to avoid the possibility your reader will ignore or delete your message.
To increase the chance your message will be read (and increase the chance your message will achieve its purpose), follow the guidelines below.
Subject Lines Should Reflect Purpose, Main Idea, and/or Content
In general, subject lines for informative (neutral) and positive messages should be specific and informative. They should communicate the purpose of the document, summarize its main point/s, and/or describe its content. Be as direct and specific as possible, and don’t limit yourself to just one or two words. Remember, it’s not a title (i.e., it’s not the name of the email); it’s a subject (a topic, matter, focus, or what it’s about). Write enough to communicate your purpose, topic, or main point of the message.
Depending on what you want (your purpose—what you want to have happen as a result of the communication situation), you might also need to indicate more about what your message will do or what you want.
Are you just informing someone about something? If yes, then perhaps just the specific topic/subject of the message is enough for the subject line.
Are you requesting something? If yes, then indicate that in the subject line.
Are you asking a question? If yes, then find a way to indicate that in the subject line.
Let’s look at some bad subject lines, identify their problems, and then look at improved/revised subject lines.
| INSTEAD OF |
WHAT’S WRONG?
(or, “what might the reader think?”)
|
REVISE TO |
| Subject: Ruth Johnson | Who is Ruth Johnson? What about her? | Interview Questions for Job Candidate Ruth Johnson, Interview May 30th at 10am |
| Subject: Deadline Approaching | Deadline for what? Does the deadline even apply to me? And when is it? By “approaching,” does it mean that the deadline is next month? Next week? Or tomorrow? | April 15 Deadline for FAU Graduate School Applications |
| Subject: Dept. Bylaws | What Department? The English Department? What about the Department Bylaws? I’ve read the department bylaws, I know where to find them, and I don’t need them right now. | Request for feedback on English Department Bylaws revision draft |
Purpose and Subject Lines
Since the subject line should reflect the purpose, let’s go back and revisit purpose (the P in our PAGOS plan for a rhetorical approach).
Purpose asks:
- Why are you writing?
- What do you want to accomplish?
- What do you want to have happen as a direct result of this communication?
If you’re simply writing to inform, then your subject line can reflect the content of what you’re informing the reader about. But if you want something—if you want a response, the answer to a question, or some action taken—then see if you can find a way to include (or suggest) what you want in the subject line.
|
WHAT I WANT
to happen as a result of this communication
|
BAD
SUBJECT LINE
|
BETTER
but not great
SUBJECT LINE
|
BEST
SUBJECT LINE
|
| I want my department assistant chair (who schedules classes for English faculty) to change my Spring 2021 grad course title in MyFAU/Banner (FAU’s scheduling system). | Spring schedule | Spring 2021 Course Title | Request Change to Spring 2021 Course Title (ENC 6930) in Banner/MyFAU |
| Why Bad?: This could be anything about the Spring schedule. It could be asking when or where the Spring schedule will be posted. It could be a “congrats” for getting it done. This is just too vague. | Why Better (But Not Great)?: It’s clear the message is something about a course title, but it’s not clear whether the sender wants a change, is thanking the receiver for making the change, or where the title in question is located (is this about the title in MyFAU? about the title in the FAU course catalog?) | Why Best?: This subject line clearly indicates what the sender wants to have happen (a change), to a specific course title (ENC 6930), in a specific location (Banner/MyFAU). | |
| I want the Faculty Research Coordinator to accept my NIH Research Funding Application even though it’s past the deadline. | Research Funding Application | Research Funding Deadline Flexibility | Please Accept my Late NIH Research Funding Application (attached) |
| Why Bad?: This could be anything (a question, comment, typo) about any research funding application (the Faculty Research Coordinator oversees lots of research funding opportunities—NIH, Anne E. Casey Foundation, FAU Alumni Foundation, etc. | Why Better (But Not Great)?: It’s clear the message is about a research funding deadline, but it’s not clear which funding opportunity, nor clear what “flexibility” means in this context. Is it a change to an existing funding deadline? Is it asking for flexibility? Is it from a funding organization? or from an applicant? | Why Best?: This subject line is clear about what it’s asking for (please accept even though it’s late), clear about the funding opportunity (NIH), and is clear that it already includes the application itself (saving the reader from approving the request but also having to ask for the application attachment). | |
| I suspect one of my son’s elementary school classmates cheated on their science fair project and I want to suggest a change to science fair project rules and judging rules | Science Fair | Suspected Cheating on Science Fair Project; Boca Elementary School | Suggestion to Revise Science Fair Project & Judging Rules; Boca Elementary School |
| Why Bad?: This could be a general question, comment, compliment, or complaint about a science fair. The subject line isn’t clear about what it wants, nor is it clear about what science fair (which school? past, current, or future?) | Why Better (But Not Great)?: It’s clear this message is about the Science Fair at Boca Elementary, and it’s clear the message has something to do with cheating. If the sender simply wanted to report cheating, this subject line would be fine. However, since the sender wants to suggest new rules for projects and judging, this subject line isn’t specific enough. | Why Best?: This subject line clearly indicates that the sender wants to suggest some revision to project and judging rules for Science Fair Projects at Boca Elementary School. Ideally, the sender includes language for a possible revision within the message itself. |
You have some choices when it comes to subject line capitalization. For email subject lines, you may use initial style capitalization (title case) or sentence style capitalization, but never write email subjects in all caps. For subject lines in letters and memos, you may use initial/title case, sentence style, or all caps.
See here for more information about email subject capitalization.
Balance Clarity & Specificity with Conciseness
Inasmuch as subject lines should be clear and specific, when it comes to emails, you also need to balance clarity with conciseness. Be aware of the various contexts in which your audience may read your correspondence—your audience may read your message on a desktop email client (like Mac’s Mail application or Microsoft’s Outlook application), in a browser, or on a mobile device with an email app. Different sources cite different statistics, but as many as 50%, 60%, or even 70% of emails are opened on mobile devices. According to Business Insider, approximately 50% of emails are read on mobile devices.
Most mobile and desktop email applications cut off email subject lines after a predetermined number of characters (characters = individual letters and spaces). While the length of what’s shown varies by device and application, averages and estimates suggest desktop clients show “about 60 characters of an email’s subject line, while a mobile phone shows just 25 to 30 characters.” (Business Insider)
While there’s no need to make subject lines super short, you should try to balance clarity and specificity with conciseness.
For clarity and specificity, front load subject lines with the most important information first.
For conciseness, you can omit articles (a, an, the) and use ampersands (&).
Things to Avoid
important . . . but is it?
First, there’s a 90% chance that messages with “important” in the subject line are not actually important.Second, if you’ve already written a good subject line—a subject line that reflects your purpose or main idea—then it’s usually unnecessary to include the word “important.”
An example: Let’s say my son is at school and he isn’t feeling well. He goes to the nurse and she discovers he has a fever of 101°. She needs me to come and pick him up from school. She calls, but my phone is off, so she emails me instead. In the subject line, she could write:
“Your Student” is a bad subject line. Why? I get emails about my kid all the time—updates about his grades, his school, his assignments, his music classes… usually, I don’t even read these (I already know my kid’s grades, I’m not interested in school calendar updates, he’s pretty on-top of his assignments… etc. I don’t usually even open emails that are related to his school. If I don’t open her email, then I won’t know to come pick him up at school.
“IMPORTANT: Regarding Illness and Pick Up Policy” is a bad subject line. Why? See above. I get email updates about random (and relatively unimportant) school policies all the time. I don’t usually open them.
“Noah Is Sick (101° Fever); Needs Picked Up From School” is a good subject line. Why? It’s a good subject line because it’s the purpose of the message. It tells me what the nurse wants and why.
The “IMPORTANT” in the subject line above is just unnecessary. Since the nurse has already summarize the purpose with “Noah has a fever; needs picked up from school,” there’s no reason to write “IMPORTANT.” (It’s unneeded, redundant, and generally overused to such a degree that people ignore it.)
urgent . . . really . . . ? how urgent?
If something really is urgent—meaning it must be done soon, by a particular date or within a particular time frame—then put the deadline right in the subject line.
| INSTEAD OF | REVISE TO |
| URGENT: Deadline for Registration | Must Register for Classes by Janvember 1st |
| URGENT: Physical Exam Records Deadline | Physical Exam Records due 10/30 for Fall Soccer Season Eligibility |
| URGENT: Account Information Needed | Confirm Account Contact Info by Novembruary 15 for Continued Service |
please read [sarcasm] . . . so . . . you want me to read the thing you sent? [/sarcasm]
Don’t write Please Read in your subject line. Why not…?
- It’s lazy. Instead of taking the extra time to write a subject line that indicates the content—a message that provides information, requests action, etc.—sometimes people write “please read.” Don’t be lazy.
- As long as you’ve written something of interest or relevance to the recipient, you should assume the recipient will read your message.
please respond
Instead of writing Please Reply or Please Respond in your subject line, be direct about what your want—and be specific.
| INSTEAD OF | REVISE TO |
| Please Respond | can I retake 3/23 quiz? (my internet went out; submitted with no responses) |
| Meeting—Please Reply | Confirm Attendance: Department Meeting Febvember 24th |
| Last Quiz (Please Repond) | Possible Error on “Bio Vocab Quiz”; Can You Confirm Correct Response? |
| Reply Needed: Trip | please send travel expense report for July Boston trip by 8/1 |
business-ese + wordiness
Don’t forget the lessons you learned about clarity and conciseness, including:
-
- use plain language: whenever possible, use shorter, simpler, more common words and phrases
- avoid circumlocutions: use words; not phrases
- avoid canned phrases, bureaucratic-speak, and business-ese: use plain, simple, clear language
- use fewer words & fewer syllables: use fewer words with fewer syllables; avoid long, complex, and/or less familiar words and instead, use short, simple, common language
| INSTEAD OF | REVISE TO |
| Inquiry Regarding Registration | Question About Fall 2021 Registration Dates |
| clarification in regards to deadline | When is project 5 due? [or] Question about deadline |
| Concerning the Matter of My Class Attendance | About My Absences on 11/3 and 11/5 |
| query into final project submission | please confirm you received my final project on 6/10 |
Subject Line Tips
|
Set a deadline in the subject line. Especially if you have a lot of information to convey in the email itself, including a deadline right in the subject line exponentially increases the odds that readers will respond. For example, after the email’s topic, you could say: “Please reply by EOD Friday.” |
Write a meaningful subject line. Before you hit “send,” take a moment to write a subject line that accurately describes the content, giving your reader a concrete reason to open your message. A vague or blank subject line is a missed opportunity to inform or persuade your reader.
Remember — your message is not the only one in your recipient’s mailbox.
A clear subject line will help a busy professional to decide that your email is worthwhile. |
Indicate if you need a response. “People want to know whether they really need to read this now and if they have to respond” [. . .]. If you need a response, make it clear in the subject line by saying “please reply” or “thoughts needed on X topic.” If not, simply start the line with “Please read,” or tack on “no response needed” or “FYI” to the end. |
|
If someone referred you, be sure to use their name. If you’ve been referred by a mutual acquaintance, don’t save that for the body of the email […]. Put it in the subject line to grab the reader’s attention right away. |
Eliminate filler words. With such precious space, don’t waste it with unnecessary words like “hello,” “nice to meet you,” and “thanks,” which can easily be included in the email’s body. |
Subject Lines Should Be Appropriate for Purpose & Organization
Additionally, a subject line should be appropriate for the document’s pattern of organization, which is often determined by its general purpose. While we will cover organizational patterns for negative or bad news messages in later course material, for now, keep in mind that the information on subject lines here applies to routine positive and neutral messages and/or routine request for information. The rules for negative messages are a little bit different (again, there will be more on this later).
Considerations for Digital Communications
If you are going into marketing or simply interested in the additional elements and opportunities provided by digital technologies, encourage you to do your own reading about email meta tags, snippets, preview text, and preheaders. All of these are useful opportunities that increase the chances your audience will read your email, particularly in the case of mass emails, advertising, and networking messages. Since they aren’t convenient for direct person-to-person email communications, were not going to cover them here.
Letter Subject Lines
1. Subject lines are often used in letters. According to the style guide at Canada’s Public Works and Government Services:
“A subject line specifying the topic of the letter, if included, comes between the salutation and the body of the letter. The introductory word Subject may be used, but is not essential. The terms Re and In re should be reserved for legal correspondence. The subject line is entered either wholly in upper case or in boldface. It may begin flush with the left margin or be centered for emphasis. It is not used in personal correspondence, where the subject is usually referred to in the first paragraph.” (10.18: Subject Line)
Any of these is fine.
 |
 |
 |
 |